Evening Personalities Take Aim At Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Plan

Television's prominent entertainers used their evening criticizing President Donald Trump's newly launched immigration program, called the "Trump card," describing it as a blatant pay-to-play arrangement for the rich.

Stephen Colbert's Sarcastic Take

Kicking off his broadcast, Stephen Colbert presented a sardonic holiday jingle about the commander-in-chief. "He is compiling a list, reviewing it twice, before handing that list to the people at ICE," he sang. "Donald Trump ... ruins everything he handles."

The subject was the new program which enables overseas citizens to acquire U.S. residence for the price of a million dollars, with a "platinum" option for five million. A government website promises processing "faster than ever."

"A quick message here to wealthy applicants: prior to you pony up, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He explained that the scheme is also intended to "squeeze cash" from companies wishing to hire skilled workers, involving significant fees. "That's a lot of fees, but if you register, you additionally get two free nights at a hotel of your selection – provided that it's the a specific Marriott," he continued.

"The best background check the U.S. government has before done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to verify these individuals truly qualify to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert responded. "The initial query: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Roast

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "U.S. Access Express Card."

"It's a card that will let affluent international individuals to live here," he stated. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get official visitor status, you get a road to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one major crime of your choosing."

"Perhaps it's time to change that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your huddled masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel lampooned the brevity of the application, saying it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"That's right, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "It's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Economic Issues

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's slipping poll ratings during financial worries. "People gave Donald Trump a second term because they were upset about the economy," he explained.

This week, in a effort to address cost of living, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a display of grocery items, and reacted peculiarly to some cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time."

"He is so extremely weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by criticizing right-leaning news defenses of Trump's economic record. "Perhaps instead of complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy like the one FIFA did," he joked.